I’m not really a fan of Valentine’s Day. C’mon it’s a holiday that sets partners up to fail. The expectations are so high in our self-centered materialistic world that it’s hard to find anything that is good enough. Women have this romantic image what what this holiday is supposed to be. Guys just seem grudgingly willing to do whatever to make that special someone happy if sex is somehow involved.
I’m not very “girlie”. I hardly wear make up. I like lip gloss and that’s about it. I do like my moisturizers, cleaners, toners, masks and such. It is one of few ways that makes me feel pampered. I have a neat little basket of them. I hardly wear jewelry with the two notable exceptions of my wedding ring and a gold bracelet. I sometimes remember to wear a watch. It would be difficult to find me not wearing some sort of sneaker. I have a philosophy, if you will, that if it isn’t comfortable why wear it. I’m not a big fan of dresses. I once had a person ask me if I owned any dresses. I said that I was married in a dress. He thought I was kidding.
I have a lot of stuff. I don’t need more stuff just to have stuff. Seriously, Big Scott could make me a big country breakfast and let me putter around the house or go to an antique mall with me. If he wants to buy me jewelry then buy some stock in Tiffany’s or De Beer’s. Buying stock is like giving me the whole store, right? I would be perfectly happy but no, we have to this Valentine’s dance every year.
Big Scott puts Hallmark’s finest on my pillow after I get up to take my shower. Although the sentiment is great and all, it says the same thing every year. Somewhere on the card there are references to “you” and “me” and “something something love”. Then there are the flowers. They are always beautiful. They just end up shedding all over our kitchen table. I’m left yet another empty vase that I will eventually take to Goodwill. Dinner out is never quiet and cozy. I’m not wearing anything red or black with the square acreage of a saucer.
It’s not that the attention isn’t appreciated. It just seems to me that you should be living that love out loud every day. Cards, flowers, dinner, chocolate and jewelry just seem so shallow. We are celebrating love. It shouldn’t be a one time a year greeting card commercial holiday. Everyday, you should should be telling your partner, spouse, significant other, whatever how much you love them and mean it. It means more to me that Big Scott tells me or writes a little notes that tells me how he much he loves me than any of that stuff. Flowers die. Chocolate and dinner out are consumed. Cards are not necessarily saved. Necklaces break. Rings can become misshapen. It’s just stuff. Showing your love for someone by buying them stuff is just dysfunctional. Relationships worth keeping aren’t built on stuff.
Those of us that are a little more unique have a tendency to be shunned during certain years of our education. That is unfortunately the reality and the cruelty of jr. and sr. high. I was one of those students. I wasn’t musically talented enough to fit in with this group. I enjoy sports but coordination wasn’t necessarily included when this model was built. I’m not a brilliant person. I’m a very bright person but not a brainiac. My family wasn’t wealthy and I wasn’t manipulative enough to be considered popular. I sort of floated from group to group depending on the season.
I tended to have more friendships with boys than girls. Relationships with girls just seemed so superficial and casual like how I’m treated at the bank. I watched plenty of other girls receive flowers, cookies, and stuff. I was probably better friends with their boyfriend. I just didn’t have a particular physical relationship with said boy(s). We just talked about stuff like sports, music and cars and not the latest fashion trends or if guy on the cover of BOP is hot or what are the 5 fool proof make-up tricks in seventeen magazine. I wasn’t interested. I was the girl that hung out with a group of boys that asked me all sorts of questions about their girlfriends. I don’t know why she is such a shallow psycho? Don’t ask me about my high school Prom, Homecoming or whatever. I didn’t go. I wasn’t asked. There was a time when my self-esteem was low enough that I just wondered what the hell was wrong with me. Those experiences really turned me off to the holiday. I spent six years not a real happy camper but it did give me a different perspective on people, relationships, adaptability and patience.
Another reason that I am not a big fan of the holiday is that my birthday is the day after. I can’t tell you how many people think that it’s too bad that I wasn’t a Valentine’s baby. I spent elementary school receiving valentine rejects as birthday presents. Almost every gift was red or pink or heart shaped. I really really dislike pink. I dislike pink so much that I next to never wear it and I certainly do not consider it a color worth decorating with. I really dislike heart shaped things. I don’t care how perfect a wood shelf is if it has heart cut outs I’m not even considering it. I can’t tell you how many heart shaped things I have received from jewelry boxes to sewing baskets to pillows and even heart shaped flower pots. I don’t even want to think how much leftover valentine’s chocolate I have also received. I remember one gift in particular. It was a little white stuffed dog. I had named it at one point in time but we’ll just called it “Penelope” to move this little story along. Penelope had a red and white pin-striped tummy and paws and red felt ears. It would have been cute enough. Certainly something a seven year old girl would like to have. I received Penelope with only one red ear.
Looky here. A little soapbox. Can Valentine’s Day just go away now?